i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
