My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
