The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All the doctor said was why
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
