you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
