Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
