Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
