You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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