What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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