Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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