Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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