If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
