Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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