No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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