no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
