Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He better not be in your backpack
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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