omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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