Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
