guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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