I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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