You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
