I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
