there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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