So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
