dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
