Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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