You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
