Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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