so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
