P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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