yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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