she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
