on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
