I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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