Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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