so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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