3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
God, I missed his penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
