I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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