Got a toothbrush?
Sry I called you an 8
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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