do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
