apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
