is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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