It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Girls should come with a carfax report
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
