dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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