you guys were way drunker than both of me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
