I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
