I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize