Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Vodka?
Forever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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