come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
