There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
