If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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