Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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