I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
