is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
