I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
