you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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