News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
