The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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