Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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