the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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