she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's like iHOP with fire
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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